shine like a sun

i stare at you, because there is a phenomenon happening on you. you know what? you shine your bright like a sun. but i can't stare at the sun, i know it will blind my eyes. but you don't. i stare at you for almost every time and my eyes still function well.

how can be like that?

i do not know. it can't explained with any theory or definition. you are indescribable. all i know is just you shine like a sun, but you are more than just a sun. you definitely the most perfect ones in the world, even i know nothing is perfect. but you are. you are perfect on your own way.

when everything is dark, or when others are fade, you are the only one who still spread your bright. you are the only one who keep remaining yourself of smile, even it's just to cover what you're feelin inside. you are the only one who will fight for yourself. even it's hurt, it's pain, or you were bleeding inside, you will fight. all you're gonna to do is just keep strong and survive, then you will win. you are the only one who cover yourself with a fiery spirit. then you seem like on fire. you are so gorgeous. the greatest God's creature. the most perfect ones. the favorite ones. who's not gonna looking on you? you are the most striking ones.

you shine your bright like a sun...

but wait, who are you that i mean? or what kind of man are you? well, i'm gonna look for the answer,

take a mirror quickly, look yourself at the mirror, and see who is staring at you right now? have you find the answer?

pensi

18 mei kemaren itu pensi.

oh ya, gaboleh cepet puas. karna pujian itu menyenangkan, kita kudu siap nyerap yang ga menyenangkan juga. ini pensi taun terakhir di osis-mpk dan pensi yang sangat berkesan. dari pihak panitia cuma bisa bilang terima kasih banyak buat semua pihak yang turut partisipasi. semua ini karna Allah.
thanks guest star. thanks smanda. thanks mc. thanks osis-mpk. thanks Mr.Sulaiman. thanks semuanya. you're great! you're cool! it's worth it with what's left behind us. struggle. sacrifices. failure. and yesterday was the gift from God. we will never succeed without Allah.

btw, saya cinta bulan mei. karna itu bulan yang Allah anugerahkan buat saya lahir di bumi ini. bulan yang Allah berikan buat ibu saya pengobanan setengah mati buat ngeluarin saya dari perutnya. bulan ulang tahunnya Surabaya. dan bulannya pensi di smanda :33

but, if there is the word 'love', there is 'hate' too. yeah, i hate may. you know why? because of...

ahsudahlaaah.

16 years at may 16th

i know i maybe be the youngest student in the class. it's always be me, from elementary till senior high school. but idc, even i am 97 while the others are 96 or 95, even i am 16 while the others are 17 or 18, i love my self who the way i am. i love my parents who have been 16 years caring for and raising me with patient and full of love.

i have many wishes, but i won't mention one by one. Allah knows, and He listens me. i just wanna make my parents proud of me, of what i did, and i just wanna see them smile. it's enough.

God, give me more times, to prove to my parents, to make them proud. give me more times, to join ramadhan this year. and give them more times, to see me succeed.

thanks God for keep loving me in 16 years. thanks my parents. thanks for all the people who cared for me, who make me smile, who love me, thanks friends. you're the reason i smile.

oh ya, happy birthday Surabaya! i know it's too soon to celebrate it. but idc, we're born at the same month. and you're my beloved city, the city i was born in. hope we will be better and better. Allah bless us.

once again, if i die before i wake, tell my parents God i love them.

strong

being strong is easy actually. the hard part is when people think that you are a strong man..
when you are down, you are messed, or you are broken, and people still think that you are fine, you are good, because you are strong.

that's the hard ones.

you know, strong man never really being strong. actually, the strongest ones it can be the weakest at all..
we never know.
when you cry, you think that you are weak. but when you can't cry, you should think it again, because people who can't cry is actually the weakest at all.
so if that statement is true, i would like to cry everyday, every time i want, every second i have, and everywhere. you know why?

because i am strong.

sensitive

not sensitive is not good. gak peka itu gak baik.
tapi kalo too much sensitive, further is not good.
then how is the good ones?

sensitive is needed. but not over. not too much. and not to not at all.
yeah, just so so.

orang yang cuek dan tidak berperasaan dan gak peka sama sekali itu menjengkelkan. tapi kalo orang terlalu peka dan sensitif itu juga ga kalah ngeselin..

over sensitive being aggressive
not sensitive being possessive

so, between aggressive and possessive, what's the good ones?

nothing. nothing's better than choose one from that choices. combine it. we need both of aggressive and possessive. 

yeah, but some people prefer feeling over sensitive. yeah, it's okay. that's a choice. but better think it first well.

when He come for me..

people die everyday.
someday, i will die.

when He come for me, i surrender. nothing can stop Him. nothing. no one.
when He come for me, am i ready?
when He come for me, does He take me softly? or hardly, till i am bleeding, and agony.
when He come for me, does it hurt? does it pain? how it feels?
when He come for me, what it's like? seeing the world for the last time, looking at my parents, my family, my friends, all of them, who i love, do they cry? do they lost me? do they care about me? do they feel me? actually, when i died, i'm omnipresent. in their sides, in their hearts, and always will be. but do they feel my present? or they will forget me?
when He come for me, can i ask for little minutes again to be with them, to hug them, one by one, and say goodbye, forever..

when You come for me God, and if i have not had time to say sorry and thanks to the people who cared for me, please, tell them, whisper in their hearts, show them in their dreams, how much i love them and how happy i was when with them.

God, i love them.
take care of them, protect them, when i have nothing else beside them.

and for all the people who cared,

i hope it's worth it what's left behind me
i know you'll find your own way when i am not with you
so tell everybody the ones who walk beside me
i hope you'll find your own way when i am not with you tonight -Fiction, Avenged Sevenfold

the random life lessons of the day

no people can be trusted. from all the things and many reasons to trust someone, you will just come back to look yourself. you are the reason to be trusted. you trust yourself. and nothing's more the best than trusting ourselves. oh wait, there is still more perfect ones, is that trust God, trust to Allah.

englishnya kacau. intinya, manusia gada yang bisa dipercaya.

sekalipun keluarga terdekat ataupun sahabat terbaikmu, mereka juga tetep manusia. dan pada hakikatnya manusia emang gada yg bisa dipercaya. so, balik lagi, percaya diri sendiri. 

btw, here i wanna ask you,

what's wrong with us?

do you feel the same? but if you don't, maybe the wrong ones is me, not us.

and for the last,

do you know what is eccedentesiast?

that's what you do is not what you feel. seems like you don't wanna show what you're feeling inside. even it's pain, hurt, or you were bleeding inside, you will never show.

yeah, people don't really care about us, or about what we did behind them.

if there is still a reason for you to smile outside, just do it while you can still smile.

imagine, what if you can no longer smile both inside and outside?